i overslept today = skipped school.
crap. i am suppose to go to school for prayer group but aiks. i overslept. blame the alarm.
i slept like a pig till 12pm. i'm just tired. thinking of the long schedule tat lied ahead for my fri and whole sat. i need to rest. haha *excuses*

fri nite- WAR3 (for girls ONLI)
sat morning- examination and reexamination for st john. (haih. still overload with st john responsibilities)
sat afternooon abt 3- youth connexion
sat evening abt 6- clean up and i can go home

i cant miss any of the activites so my alarm decided to skip school for me. haha.

but i still love my life. and i cant understand how can someone just think of death when there is just a small obstacle in life. is ur life tat worthless o u just cant think of God when u find death a solution?

Labels: lazy

i am just wondering why do i have to wake up to go to school?
it's so nice to sleep when it's raining. it's cold. and my pillows and blanket are calling me to stay with them.

but. always a but. need to wake up to go to school.

i was talking to hoo li.

me: i wonder who else besides of me will ever skip school bcoz it's raining and it's nice to sleep?
hoo li: errr. i will eh if i got no responsibilities.
me: tat's y v are besties for so long. v're in the same lazy category.
hoo li: *thinking how to deny* - nahhhh...she's not tat creative. besides it's the truth.

haih.
now i am so craving for apam balik. mummy have to be evil enuf not to drive me to buy it.

oh yah. i think i am suppose to study now. * lazy-nyerrrr*

Labels: food, lazy

i had a long.tired day

i am not gonna fuss and complain any further wat happened to me today. but i am very thankful tat i went for the Basic Life seminar ytd and it really helped.

i am submitting everything b4 Him. fear.anger.tears.smiles.pride.ego.dignity.reputation.reasons.achievement.and all tat i have.
becoz all tat i own comes from Him.

without my permission, i realised ytd tat i got very bitter bcoz of her and tat she caused my unpleasant fears and anger in me. all these while i tot i was just merely complaining n fussing and being angry. buthen when all these are added up i became bitter.

i recognise that it is His will and He allows these to happen. it happens for a reason i yet to find out. and He will onli gives me the best and He protect His own and He loves me more than anyone do. she is just a tool of His so that His work in my life can be done.

so therefore, i will forgive bcoz God will not forgive me if i do not forgive. and that He commands us to love one another. besides i forgive her not for anyone else but for myself. by doing so i give myself a key to a better life and a happier life. besides i hope that the love of God can express itself through my actions.
it's nothing easy and i give all glory to the Lord for helping me to do so. i prayed so much today that He will help me to put myself together and not appear weak and vunerable before her and and make the fullest out of my lesson of suffering the God allows today. i find myself at great peace when i prayed and i submit b4 Him.

i am a normal human and tat every human fails. but He will never fails.

ps: i felt bad of complaining abt her in front of my friend. causing her a bad image and my frens to dislike her.
there's alwayz a limit of wat a human can do.
as much as i prayed and sincerely want to forgive her and choose to love her n bless her more but flesh didnt cooperate tat much in the beginning. whooops.

Labels: yapping

i am in the middle of exam week. sniffin my mucus out from my leaking nose. staring blank at most of my papers. looking at the fact tat i am so gonna fail bio addmaths n moral. even moral.wat a failure
but but but i'm kinda happy. dunno y. feeling peaceful. having nice chats with frens in school and mummy at home. i got the BEST mom on earth. yeay. she's a big kid in disguise of a lady. and i spent 16 years finding tat out.

i am so freaking frust abt something so i went to mummy.

me: mummy i am so frust
mum: abt wat?
me: i dunno lar. i am just stress. i dunno how to handle tis prob ..*spillin everything out*
mum: haih. i dunno u lar. i am bz reading now so just go and sleep k?
me: am i not tat important compare to ur silly book now? i need u now leh
mum: actually i am really bz. so u settle it urself k?
me: MUMMY...tats wat mum are for u kno. being there for the daugther. i told u i dunno wat to do lor
mum: errr. it's time to think for ur self.
me: miee....
mum: *silent*
me: ish ish...*go back to my room*

haih. wat can i expect from a big kid. but she is really there when i need to whin.fuss.complain.make noise. and cant shut tup. so yea tats good enuf. haha. i'm mean.

a big gang of funny frens in school also really gonna cheer me up. they even concluded that i am more attracted to malay boys so thats y i am not having an form of attraction towards chinese guys now and tat ended me up single. wat a thing to say. just bcoz i and hoo li are into zakuan and adhar ( malay football players. did advertisement for nike too. local boys. 2o yrs old. twins) tat dont mean anything ma.

oh yah. i was chatting with nicki today. talking abt how good was 300. then i realise tat its bcoz its spartan tat made it nice. plus the filming tecnique and all credits u can give to the director and actor and crew and bla bla bla. but but but if its dato' maharaja lela i dun think its interesting lor. v shall call it dumb rather than inspiring. nicki laughed LOUD. tats seriously true. v just dun love our history tat much.

anyway i am so in a good mood today. and my flu is getting so much better.

ps: i miss hoo li. how cud u go sarawak when i am bz stuffing my brains for exam wei.

ps2: u better not b back if u didnt get me anything there. btw wat is gud in sarawak wei.

Labels: mom, yapping

shall u expect a sentence such as " I LOVE HOLIDAYS" from me now? answer is yes. being a lazy bum myself i really need and love the holidays i get. besides school is made horrible when some certain teacher can't help but to make my life miserable.

monday...
woke up and daddy drove us down to timesquare.shopping? ah-bo..tat's an almost instant relieve for my bad week in school. then i went to plaza low yat for lunch and sg. wang to another shopping session. i bought :-
*a ring
*a pair of shorts
*nail polish
*princess hour dvd ( it's gonna make my holidays so much more fun)

bie went for a hair cut. something like a cut marathon by kimarie academy and it's for CHARITY. eventho the cut was bad and the result is saddening but it's for charity bie. she made us laugh so badly tat mummy had tears in her eyes. v can onli say it's for charity and tat hair will grow back even tho bie didnt look very tat better but tat's the best from us. haha

tuesday...
slept till 11. or was it 1? neways did chores and watched princess hour non stop till 7 something in the evening. head out for aunt susan chemistry tuition. came back and ta-da in front of the tv AGAIN. tat seriously pissed daddy off. got to kno reuben had an asthma attack when he is running in Labuan. he missed tuition too since he just got back to kajang. poor him. msg-ed him. actually wanted to tease him but he felt kinda bad so spare u for now lar...

wednesday...
woke up at 12. whoa i really love the sleeps. i mean i can hardly sleep tat much if not bcoz of the holidays. i am irritated by the alarm every morning for school and mind u i am still stuck in st johns which occupied my saturdays. and chores in the morning on sundays. so i really appreciate the sleeps. did chores. and lying around and dozed off at 2 and woke up for physics tuition at 3. popped by to get yoong and he slept as much as me. so i am not the onli pig. hehe. came back hang around and lepak at home.

thursday...
ish ish. got up at 7. coz mr leong suppose to pick me up at 7.30 for driving amali class but he came at 8+. *do u hv any idea how much at sleep means to me?* ish. then went for that class which is sooooooooooo boring. in there for 3 whole miserable-cant-talk-nor-sleep hour. then break and practical. where v learnt to change tyre and check engine. for a min i felt like i'm a pro. haha. but the fella who taught us was practical enuf. he didnt make US change the type. he said no point coz it's hot and gals dun have much strength. (is tat an insult?) but thinking tat i dun have to make myself dirty so i just leave tat matter away from my not-very-working-and-sleeping brains. he even said gals can get help to change tyre much easier than guys. wat does tat suppose to mean? hmmm. got home at 5 and Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.......

friday...
yeay yeay. gonna go out. went for add maths tuition as early as 8 then after tat back home for breakfast and daddy drove me to midv. watched 300 and lunch at nando's then another movie. bridge to teribathia. pardon me if i got the wrong spelling. meet up with yoong n nicki and bid farerwell to zen. mind was thinking. but stomach was hungry too. went to fish manhatan for dinner. starbucks for coffee. hang around and went home. rushed to get home for music practise but train was real full tat cant even push one more in so v missed the train and camwhore sitting in the station. bie msg said it was ok not to go. joel said so. how bad i felt. so went home and pretend to study so tat daddy wont make noise when he is back from CG.

saturday...
dragged myself to wake up. knowing tat i will b scolded but still i have to wake up. i hate dragging myself doing something tat will onli spoil my day for the sake of a word - responsibility.
during breakfast, dugong told us to just deaf our ears for tat lil while. wat is to happen has to happen. haih. early in the morning and i have to bear all these. went for the meeting. waited till i get it. when i tot i am just gonna b spared tis time i got a big blow. not a chance to defend at all. not like its my fault but wat to do. i'm just a student which they can blow on. haih. went for a very emotional eating with bie n hoo li. went secret recipe and took a piece of cheese cake each. when i almost calmed myself down. dugong n shinshin came. brought up the matter and tat's just too much. things became emo.not blaming them. not a tiny bit of their fault. it's just me being emo and things are bad on me. went rocteam for a whole jug/mug/bottle/cup watever tat container called of watermelon juice. then mummy came to pick me home. slept. woke up for cell. as usual it opened me to a point of view tat i really need to ease my negative feelings.
it's cbout submission. submit to God. duh. and to parents.spiritual leaders. and God human-channeled people such as teachers who are in authority. it's hard for me to submit to someone whom hurt me so much in the past and yet obeying her and plastering a smile each time. the hurting haven stop and yet i need to submit. jessy also said it's harder to submit when u disagree. tat's so true. but yet submitting when u disagree is a bigger challenge and pleases God. Jesus submit even His life for GOd told him to. it's a sign of maturity in action too when v submit. when it something pleases GOd, wat is tat lil hurt of mine compared to His goodness?
then went for dinner when shinshin. dugong.kevin.bie and even qcie. shinshin said i looked happy. i guess after wat he saw in the morning he was confused with my emotions. buthen i just realise tat i alwayz found the peace i need when i seek GOd. so y shud i b sad?

sunday..
church. sermon by pastor ni hau. sorry for the spelling error. he is just funny. hilarious.blogging now and suppose to study for exams tomorrow. tata

Labels: emo, laughters, shopping

i spent my whole day of birthday turning 17 in school. got stuck in a camp. but despite that fact that i was alone expecting 17 in the midnight i got messages to wish me telling me that i am remembered. i remember most that hoo li was the 1st to wish me and that she sent me a long touching message. suprisingly wai called in the afternoon too. wai is not a big deal but the fact that he knows when my birthday after so long is a HUGE deal. haha

wai called and i was doing something so i missed the 1st call. quimby answered.then bie said was something important ask me to return call.

nie: hey u called zit?
wai: yea..happy birthday
nie: whoa...since when u remember my birthday? (i even forgot to say thank u..too shock)
wai: u think i wont remember zit?
nie: something like that lar..
wai: i treat u a meal someday when u're free
nie: i wont b shy then..thanks lots

all thanks to those who wish me and message too.
and i love jessy's earings. her pressie for M-E. it's blue and it's nice and it's handmade. and i'm the owner for it. muahahaha.
let's see. perhaps coz this year i knew that i was occupied on my birthday so i didnt spend time thinking how to spend my day.but i end up sweating for a whole day taking 2 almost 3 baths a day and 3 hours of sleep.
since i'm in school's camp i spend the my
1-4 am playing games and
5-6 am sleeping. then after breakfast and tai-chi, in between of preparing outdoor games. so then
9-12pm was the games then lunch.
1-4pm hang around joking and playing in 4 ruby.
4-8pm sweating in front of bbq pit. setting up fire and bbq-ing chicken and sosej and potatoes. 8-9.30pm rushing to serve food for teachers and rest besides myself.
9.30-11pm involved in campfire.
11.30 dozed off while waiting for the event to end so that i can clean up the place.
1am ppl woke me up. got a form4 girl was hyperventilating? and then i think i slept back all the way till 6 under the cloudy big sky counting stars accompanied by mosquitoes. real chun sleeping out of the tent. sooooo cooling and fun. i get the whole sky for myself. haha

somehow i realise that i grew from certain areas of mindset a lil too.
i learnt to let go of something i am holding on due to responsibilities and wat seniors might think about me. then i realise no one is there to share. all is there to judge and condemn. so i let to let kno. i did my best and i got no power to control the outcome and wat is to happen. i am answer-able to myself. i do not need to explain myself to others. when i let go onli i realise it had slowly took over alot of myself. i stress so much. i am so burdened.tired and sick of the whole thingy. occupied the time for myself. i had to force myself to wake up just to finish up my task but anyhow i am free.
btw, to love myself which is not a crime i got myself a new bag. yeay. and i shall get daddy to bring us to shogun. yummy yummy. it's totally right to demand on your birthday. no crime for tat too.
p/s to daddy: u better show some sincerity since u did not call to wish poor me on my birthday and do need to gv lame excuses to cover. give pressie-S to make it up. yes!


happy birthday to me and bie. and i'm older by one year.

Labels: birthdays

finally 1#
i updated...yeay..haha
at least i get out of my "not-being able-to-find-time" reason to update. i'm lazy

p/s: cny was great. missed a few outings like movie with hoo li and going to yoong's hse but it was fun. onli got to rest at home on sat.

finally 2#
sports day is over. no longer need to go for meaningless i must say training. i didnt participate in any event on sports day but went to support. didnt want to missed my last sports day as a student. was bored. somehow it was not interesting. dunno why. perhaps it's me that wasnt semangat but nicky agree tat it's not happening so its not me.

the result for sports day are:
1# yellow hse
2# red house.*cheers*
3# green house
4# blue house

finally 3#
after about a month, shinshin's "period" is finally over. which is a MEGA huge relief. i publicly admit it was my fault to push clean the fault from myself and somehow u got the blame. altho it wasnt my intention to do so. i budjet that the fault will drop on the useless wan but sorry ya. and u got into ur cold attitude.

but it's over. it was fun to gather and joke around. making fun of . but for ur very sake on the very day, i tahan 1st. u wait.

to shinshin: see see. u were just clowning with us. i kno somehow it's silent punishment rite?
u are too important and precious to us and it's my fault so i will surely take ur "period" thing for serious. ah-boh. so don't freak us out like that k? use ur mouth to say if u're angry.

p/s: in my dictionary, guys do have "period". their "period" is very much similar to our girl's pms attitude. they err are usually sensitive, moody and gloomy. sometimes they are cold, easily pissed or even acting not very themselves.

finally 4#
my broke and poor state is over. haha. ang pow helped. i lurve ang pow-S. so now i am not tat poor but far from rich.

finally 5#
i confirmed a few of my decisions because of your attitude. i always agree that what makes one's life terrible is not it's luck but the mindset and attitude. can't u just reflect on your attitude rather than blaming everybody else including your parents and covering faults with lies after lies. beside make sure your lies are not easily busted if u wanna choose to lie. those lies are very fake to smart ppl like me. wahhahaha.

p/s: crying is a form of expression of emotion. it's not making one appears weak. but some ppl just mis-used the rights of crying to gain sympathy. well in this very case of yours, no sympathy from me. my eyes might b small but not blind. crying once its saddening. making me feel a lil cruel but the second time. fine its getting on my nerve and its annoying.

so ta-da thats my update.

Labels: yapping

i'm queenie
i'm have limited brain cells so i don't do complicated thinking much
i love love love God
i love love to SMILE
i love food which always means EAT too
i love colours. for cloths.stuff and belongings
i am big addict for taiwan/korean/tvb/singaporean series
i'm my mummy's spoilt girl

pretty content with life.
how about more food but yet wont get me fatter?.
needed to have more clothes.

~ nicki ~
~ lene ~
~ elaine ~
~ sam sam ~
~ debbie ~
~ shanti ~
~ eunice ~
~ mei ling ~
~ celeste ~
~ eric & jessy ~
~ victor ~
~ quai ~
~ manda ~
~ lee lian ~
~ marvin ~
~ melissa ~
~ timo ~
~ kelly ~